I've no confidence of myself

25/5 : hamham died . she blamed herself . my heart breaks to see her this way .

''it hurts to know everything '' haha , her , again . (':

多痛都可以，不能没有你。

你了解我的心情吗？！真的想要毁掉承诺吗？！说要正常的是你，不相信我的人也是你。说的容易做得难吧，我讨厌你这样的告诉她我们的事。我不管什么感受，一句都不会说。真的要分享吗？好不愿意的心情。

she's special to you , dont she .. she did nth yet the same treatment . I did so much , hurt dao cannt alr , cry dao my heart is really bleeding , yet .. haha , 知觉，我恨死你。

Again and again , my heart hurts . really really do .

Again and again , i cant protect her . once again , empty promises i have given .

everytime you and her something happened , your dont say i'll also know . my institution haha , strong anot , idk . but mostly correct . plus both something happened , i'll tear like bullshit and go crazy , her mummy will also sad .

You're asked me to shut up for the n times alr .

Trust , is never thr anymore .

我假装不在意，而痛了自己。

好冷淡。

痛到无法自拔。

不是不爽，是心痛，因为在分享给好多好多人。

虽然没有期待你会改变，可是我还是有那么一点的对你失望。

被约束的我，真的习惯这样吗？

你把我当笨蛋看待。

宁愿沉默不语，

The truth hurts ,

Its nt the first time . It hurts . why must it be her .. why .. why .. :'(... heart ,srsly hurts .

你，伤透了我的心。很痛。。。怎么办。。痛。。。。 :'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'( TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT ...

我，到底在期待什么。明知道自己自私，分享，好痛，好难，可是我被迫那么做。。难过。。

当我问你那句为什么是我的时候，你有察觉到我心里的恐慌吗？因为我开始对自己没信心了，她和你。。。。太像了。

嫉妒是因为没有安全感，对自己没信心。

当你和我吵架时，你有想过为什么会吗？你有试着了解吗？

有体谅过我的心情吗？

我，很没用，连自己心爱的人也保护不了，她需要我的时候，我在哪里？

Feelings , Im tired of all these ,

I always walk in front of you when you're smsing , turn my head , close my ears , and i really really hope to sit far till i cant hear , cant see . ha . not i walk fast , my pace is the same . its you tt's so busy smsing . hate it when something happened between you and ur DEAREST and you dun sayy but give me tt face . so FUCKEDDDD AHHHH .

承诺对你可能一文不值，对我而言很珍贵，很重要。对不起，已经没用了，对不起的意思是什么？是为了说而说吗？是真心的吗？为什么让我怀疑？你知道每当其他人说对不起，它让我勾起好多回忆，好痛的三个字。

没遵守诺言的家伙，我恨你。

在说谎之前，价值值多少。

原来我不能让你彻底改变，

信任和机会是自己争取的，不是和别人要，

Do you know how much it takes to trust after each lie ?! because its you tt's why i wanna trust you , but its also becos its you , idw any lies .

everyone thinks tt their lives are a piece of shit , not only you .

when heart is shattered , no matter how you mend , its never the same anymore . dont break a shattered heart , the pieces are too small tt it went thru and pierce thru it .

Do you know how it feels to be an option between something AGAIN and AGAIN ? feels so fked . idl you to smile when you know tt its cig smell. it makes me so pissed off , as if it made you so happy . HA ! and , i really hate to hear tt msg tone , so fked . 人在可是心和魂不在，haha . is it so boring to be with me tt you've to sms ? or you just simply cant live without ur phone . lol . haha . again . an option . haha .

What should I do ..

You tell me Sorry ,
You promised me .
Dear . I want nothing , idw sorry . sorry to me is useless . its just pure words . no emotion alr . What I want now is you to quit tht's all .
The moment you told me you wanna die , the earlier the btr . Sorry , it stabs my heart . Heart broken .. I dont wanna lose you . you understand that ? Do you ! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS TO BRING MYSELF TO FORGIVE YOU WHEN I SHLD BE ANGRY AND BASH YOU UP ?
how much does trust worth to you ?
过了那么久了，每次问你，这么了，发生什么事，你都不说，不然就说没有，朋友，你骗不了我。。
即使每个人不相信你，即使很痛，我都相信你。。
刻苦铭心，
It hurts . it really hurts .
Nothing is impossible ..
我努力地拉住你，想要挽回可是你不让我。。为什么伤害自己。。？
Is this part of ur revenge ?
我从来没有一刻忘记我们曾共同拥有的回忆，甜蜜温馨可是带来了酸痛，对不起。
Sometimes , things just don't work the way we want it to be .
Laughs , it just won't go away . Do you even know ? Its so obvious .. hais .
Memories flashed back , Heart bled , tears flowed , and all I could mumbled is Sorry ..
The closer I am to you , the further I will feel I am to your heart . I never know what you were thinking and I am tired . Often wondered , do you trust me ?
If this didn't happen today , I wouldn't have known I caused so much pain to you . Hurts shit .. Sorry .
I thought you would be different and understand my situation .. but you were like the rest . I was wrong . and I cant blame you . The truth hurts .
What do you want from me ?
What do I want from you ?

痛苦，

When Sorry dont help , when I hate you lying , when I've to follow ur necessity and im not supposed to possess it . How selfish you are . Just tell me right in the face tt you're busy and cant talk to me . why must you reply after such a long time . ha . fuck you .

I started to not just have neutral feelings abt camera alr . thanks to botanic gardens .

Lost , just like this .

谁也没想到以前的甜言蜜语会变成以后的伤痛，

我是代替品吗？

What have I done to get all these ?! Im trying very hard to save ur life , to save ur health yet you're ruining it . FUCK YOU !!

你会敏感我也会，

如果可以的话，我要把敏感的根拔掉因为是我们俩的敏感把我们的关系变得那么疆，